photo by M. Vogt @ morguefile.com12 Myths About Cohabitation
1. Everybody is doing it.
1. Everybody is doing it.
No, nearly half of all couples are not.
2. Living together is a step toward marriage.
No, it is a step toward breakup – either before or after the wedding.
2. Living together is a step toward marriage.
No, it is a step toward breakup – either before or after the wedding.
3. We are in a committed relationship.
Untrue. The only truly committed relationship is marriage.
4. Living together is a trial marriage.
Actually, cohabitation is the worst possible preparation for a healthy marriage.
It increases the odds of divorce by 50 percent.
5. We can’t afford to move apart.
Singles can save just as much money by living with someone of the same gender.
Singles can save just as much money by living with someone of the same gender.
6. We love each other, so it’s okay.
If you really loved each other, you would do what is best for each other and for the relationship – what is sanctioned by God and proven through the ages to be the safest, best, and most fulfilling way to love.
7. It can’t hurt anybody.
At least one partner is hurt if the relationship disintegrates, which it is likely to do.
Also, since cohabiters are as likely as married couples to have children, if the relationship ends, the children feel abandoned and experience significant trauma that can have lifetime effects.
8. A marriage license is just a piece of paper.
No, it represents a way of life, a state of being blessed by God and sanctioned by the church, government, and community. It affects every aspect of life, health, happiness, longevity, and sex. They’re all better with that “piece of paper.”
8. A marriage license is just a piece of paper.
No, it represents a way of life, a state of being blessed by God and sanctioned by the church, government, and community. It affects every aspect of life, health, happiness, longevity, and sex. They’re all better with that “piece of paper.”
9. We’re getting married anyway.
Don’t be so sure. Half of couples living together do not marry – and those who do are much more likely to divorce. Even a month’s cohabitation damages the relationship.
10. What we do is no one’s business.
Cohabitation is everyone’s business. It threatens society morally and burdens it financially. Eight out of ten cohabiting relationships will fail.
11. The Bible doesn’t mention cohabitation.
Jesus confronted the woman at the well, saying, “You have had five husbands, and you are not even married to the man you are living with now” (John 4:18 NLT). It was a gentle rebuke, but she was convicted, telling others, “Come and see a man who told me everything I ever did” (John 4:29 NLT).
12. Cohabitation,marriage, and divorce are simply different lifestyle choices.
“This is the most powerful and dangerous myth,” write Linda Waite andMaggie Gallagher in The Case for Marriage. “Marriage is not only a private vow, it is a public act, a contract, taken in full public view, enforceable by law and in the equally powerful court of public opinion.”
From Mike & Harriet McManus, Living Together: Myths, Risks & Answers
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